As is typical with birthday celebrations, the phone calls and messages didn’t stop rolling in for me till I went to bed. I remember a particular conversation with one of my dear friends earlier that day; she asked as almost everyone else did, “how is your day going?”. I responded quite spiritedly, “I’m having a PERFECT Birthday”. She thought my response was exaggerated, especially because she knew that I was taking that phone call from the comfort of my bedroom and not some ‘exotic’, fun-dripping location.

Over the years, I have observed that I spend a whole 365 days excitedly looking forward to 1 day – “the BIRTHDAY”. When the day comes, I am thankful and overjoyed; I start out feeling like a superstar – the phone calls, social media posts/messages, a ‘shout out’ here and maybe ‘a surprise saxophone-blowing’ ceremony there. (By the way, that loud ‘saxophone thing’ has never happened to me, I could disappear if it did. Dear Kambz, please be guided…lol).

Anyways, in a short while, after hearing like 5 billion different versions of the ‘Happy Birthday Song” punctuated with heavyweight prayers and excited laughter, I’m inundated by the demands of the day and I just want to hide. Next thing I know, I close my eyes and then boom, day is over and it’s the morning after.

You see that dull ache that comes when “the phones stop ringing” and you are just rummaging through the crumby leftovers of the ‘love-overdose’ from the day before; those reverberations from the posts, mentions, comments, messages, status updates etc that keep you reliving the birthday moments, that’s exactly where the issue lies for me. 

I prefer to stay in that sweet intersection between a “birthday” that isn’t overwhelming and a “morning after” that isn’t a sharp descent from ‘high to low’.  This is why, right in the midst of the huge currents of genuine love, appreciation and attention that flow to me on my birthday, I stand my ground and ‘shine my eyes’ so that I am not swept off balance; for if the birthday must be wholly enjoyed by me, then it must be PACED, moving gracefully to the quiet, joyful rhythms of the ‘stereo’ of my heart only.

My birthday this year is the closest I have ever come in my adult years to that ‘sweet spot’ and that’s why I call it perfect. It left a strong fragrance on my soul, which I am convinced will linger forever. The day started with IdaraAbasi waking me up excitedly in the morning and dragging me to the living room to see the birthday cake she chose and “bought” me. From then on, it progressed beautifully, untouched by the pressures of ‘unspoken social parameters’ (basic & premium versions) of how birthdays are/should be celebrated these days.

I fell asleep that night with a smile on my face and woke up with joy; mostly grateful to God for the gift of life and for my family and friends whose unique, love-soaked fingerprints remain imprinted all over the landscape of my life.